LXXVII/ Life happened

“Choose life

Choose Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and hope that someone, somewhere cares
Choose looking up old flames, wishing you’d done it all differently
And choose watching history repeat itself
Choose to smother the pain with an unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody’s kitchen
And then… take a deep breath
You’re an addict, so be addicted
Just be addicted to something else
Choose the ones you love
Choose your future
Choose life”

“These days I’m on top of my game and I have such a lust for life, a determination to win that I’m convinced is gonna take me right where I wanna go” – so I was writing 6 months ago in my last blogpost… if only I knew how right I was..!
Just to give you a rough idea of all that happened to me the past 6 months; I found my true calling and got the most fascinating job I could have ever wished for, I quit smoking, I quit biting my nails and more broadly speaking, I got rid of a whole bunch of self-consuming habits/addictions I used to have for years – even decades for some. I’m not gonna lie, I am proud of myself. You know sometimes pride can be a good thing, and in my case it’s nothing but a reflection of my self-esteem. And as far as I’m concerned, self-esteem is much needed to overcome major changes in life.
I guess what I mean is that I am in tune with who I truly am daily. In control and rocking it.

You’re an addict; so be addicted. Just be addicted to something else.
So I chose a job that matches my DNA – the international communications industry – I chose to fall (back) in love with the mountains surrounding my hometown instead of always aiming for new ones at the end of the world, I chose to take the plunge and become the fully-fledged adult I was going to be for the rest of my life.
I chose to live in peace. And this brand-new life is rewarding me with more love and sense of pride than I thought it could.
“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.”

“I suddenly felt as if I had a clearer vision of it all. An unusual lucidity. And I felt full of enthusiasm for life. I wanted to question fate, to understand the reason for our existence, to discover a common ground for science and spirituality, to invent a new art… ”
To quit smoking really has been an eye-opener to me. It’s been a game-changer in my life in the way that it is from this point forward that I realized that anything truly was possible to achieve in this life. It’s incredible how much self-confidence getting rid of that addiction had me gain – as well as how much freer I feel now.

To be honest I can’t believe that it’s been 6 months I haven’t posted a single word… Especially because the very reason that has kept me from writing – everything that has happened to me in the interim – could easily be enough to fill a book. Indeed, it is ridiculous all that has occurred in my life this past half-year and now I just have no idea where to start.
So just as a wise one once told me ‘if you have no idea where to start, just start somewhere’.

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
 Essentially what’s going on is that I work so hard at day time to properly fulfil my new position (as much as it fulfils me) that I almost systematically end up too exhausted to do anything by the time I can call it a day. And boy oh boy, regardless at how fascinating the job may be, you’d be surprised at how quick one gets stuck in an overwhelming (sedentary) daily routine…
And of course, when the weekend comes, I always get a sense of needing to do shitloads of stuff for myself as I don’t want my life to look as if it was fully dedicated to my job. You know the peeps from my gen we’re really attached to keep the right balance between work and private life – like the last thing we want is to have our job sucking out all our time and energy.
So yes, when you put that fresh career start next to my busy weekends… I end up with a very good excuse not to write anymore – and broadly speaking – make time to take stock and slow things down.

But maybe the answer is elsewhere?
Back when I started, I used to say ‘I write because nobody listens’. I must confess that I don’t feel that way anymore. Now people do listen to what I say, or at least, I don’t feel like my words go unnoticed. One of the perks of approaching your thirties; you’ve accumulated enough life experience to catch people’s attention and make the difference with your fiercely-earned yet legitimate credibility.
“No need to write anymore bla bla bla”… see?? Just found another excuse not to finish this post… Truth is, the reason why it took me so long to get back to writing is due to a bunch of recent realizations.

“Choose life, choose Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and hope that someone, somewhere cares”
That is just so true. At some point, I came to wonder whether all that had a meaning at all? I mean damn, I love my art and I used to often get heartfelt feedbacks (always welcome! =) ) telling me I should go on and go bigger even. But there’s a part of me starting to doubt. I mean isn’t everything you do online sort of meaningless today? See, all those people addicted to their social media, to their ‘likes’ and e-reputation… Makes one wonder whether one shouldn’t rather spend all that time actually doing things instead of posting… Don’t wanna be one of those that end up living up to their follower’s expectations, stuck in their world of lies and appearances. Can’t help thinking of what Benjamin Franklin cleverly said; ‘either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.’

Opportunity dances with those already on the dancefloor, not with those that spend the night Tweeting about being in the club.
But then once the storm’s over, do you wanna know what systematically takes me back to my obsession for writing? My unconditional love for Word Porn. Every time I read one of those quotes I often share with you, every time I hear an actor, a singer, a charismatic figure pronounce one of those lines to perfection, I get goosebumps and I instantly remember that Word Porn is one of those key things my heart pumps for. What makes me feel most alive. Then I remember that I’m one of those folks capable of making others feel that way through my writings. Would it only be for this reason, I know that I need to carry on. For the good words do to people.
The way I write may evolve over time, the posts’ format, their length… whatever, I need to continue what I started 4,5 years ago.

Because it is ridiculously pleasant to read back my own words once years have gone by and instantly get more melancholic than when watching old photographsThe power of words. A heartfelt quote really has the power to make your sorrow go away, to help you find the strength needed to go forward and overcome any issue that initially seemed unsurmountable. A well-written and well-thought-out piece will have you remember every single detail of a given memory. All those uncountable – yet easily-forgettable – scraps of your priceless life.

The most dreadful stuff I ever read.
A couple years ago, I remember reading that piece about some study that had been carried out on human memory. Essentially, their point was that every time you think of a given memory, you actually think of the last time you remembered it. Meaning that if last time, you didn’t try very hard to remember it in detail, this time is gonna be much harder for you to recall more aspects of that memory than it would have been the last time… And so forth… So write I must, hopefully until the end of my days. Would it only be for me to try and remember how awesome life is. We all believe so hard that we’ll never forget that particular event that year, or what we shared with this specific person back in college and so on… but the truth is, as years go by, your memory begins to fade – like you struggle sometimes only to recall some good old mate’s first name…
You know, referring only those recent years on the road, despite how unique every bit of those experiences have been, reading my blog had me realize that there’s so much I wouldn’t recall if it wasn’t for what I wrote about it.

No more excuses.
In the meantime, to my greatest enchantment, to write has become a major part of my daily job. I write loads of press releases, I sell news, I do verbal marketing and much story-telling too. Not that I’m trying to come up with an umpteenth excuse to tell you why I’ve often been too busy/lazy to write lately, but one has the right to wonder… when you get home from a long day’s work, would stripping your wife naked and have sex be your number one priority if you were a gynecologist?

 

And I’m sorry it took so long but eh, life happened.

 

 

 

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One thought on “LXXVII/ Life happened

  1. Pingback: LXXVIII/ You weren’t born to just pay bills and die | [ Journey Of A Lifetime ]

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